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I’m not petty. It’s just that sometimes I feel like I don’t know why I am where I am now. I’m happy for my friends, my cousins or anyone I know whenever I see them getting together with thier families and friends. Like you know how when you’re in a barkada and they get to bring their partners so you could get to know the person and him vice versa. Sometimes, I just don’t know how it got this far when I’m this ******. HAHAHA. I feel like I’m always trying to fit in a world where I don’t belong. I’m happy I have not reached a point where I pretend to be someone to please and impress anyone. Then we’d all be agreeing how unhappy my life is. I’m always trying to understand things, making good out of things. I just don’t understand how I’ve allowed myself to feel this hurt. How hard is it to get invited? How hard is it to make you feel involved and wanted? Well, in the end, I should know my place. And that I’m just “this” for him. I’ll never be more than that. Which begs the question, why am I still here? I’m not into grand things, I do not demand anything grand at all. It is true that the simple things really matter, and even the simple, little things I can’t get. AY I DONT KNOW